I Wake Up Every Morning...

Growing up, we had donuts the average amount of times humans should consume donuts on a monthly basis. Usually, donuts for breakfast symbolized something special... like we had to get up that day. Oh no wait, thats the reason I give myself donuts now... The way I see it, waking up is hard. Waking up and going to work? Harder. Waking up, going to work AND being on your period? That donut should be a solid gold trophy.

So today, like many a day, I walked my happy self into Dunkin Donuts and got a coffee and a donut. Just one. Just one sprinkly, iced, fried doughy ring of pure joy. And, as is an age old tradition of four months of city life, I waited until I was seated safely in my "No Food or Drink Allowed" subway car to embark on my journey of the tastebuds. As I took the first bite of my personal reward, I took a cursory glance at my riding buddies for the morning, and sure enough, they were doing what they do every "donut day"... Staring.

                                                    can we discuss my fancy lipstick?


This isn't a casual, uninterested, morning time zone out kind of stare that I get each time I eat my train treats. Oh no. These stares are full of passenger judginess. And I can't help but wonder what the problem is with my breakfast habits. I have limited ideas:

1) Everyone wants my donut. They are super upset that they didn't get one before the train ride. Totally understandable.
2) They are convinced I cannot balance both the coffee, donut, and my cell phone and are waiting to see me fail. Or burn myself.
3) Its against Dominican culture to eat donuts during the week.
4) They think I shouldn't be eating on the subway
5) They think I shouldn't be eating the donut... Which to be fair, is probably true...
6) I perhaps eat donuts weird?

This realization shattered the glass for me. Oh my god, maybe I eat weird. Thats what they must be looking at. So then, the more I think about eating weird, the weirder I eat. Until I REALLY start to over think it. Am I chewing weird? Too slow? Too fast? Chewing. Chew... to chew... Wait. How do I chew again? Has it always been this difficult? Do I move my jaw up and down, or was there a circular pattern I had perfected? How long before I take another bite? Swallow? What!? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Nightmare.

And then I spilt coffee on my pants.

So I guess numbers 2,4,5 and 6 are accurate...