Sick Gremlin

I don't know exactly when it happened. I think subconsciously I always knew that one day it would happen. But somewhere between highschool and...ummm... this morning, the world decided it no longer wanted to stop when I fell ill. This upsets me for a number of reasons. 

1) It came with virtually no warning

2) It failed to provide me with a caretaker before it carried on with its turing and whatnot

3) I'm sick. Therefore I should get my way

Number three is after all the one perk of being sick is it not? Lying around all day, watching 'The O.C.', while people bring you soup and ice cream. I remember that pretty much being the case.

But not now. Oh no. Not now.

While I will never object to a day where I am given the opportunity to go into full gremlin mode, I do not fancy being in sick, snot factory gremlin mode. Now, I am fairly certain that I am only plagued by a cold. One of those sniffly, sneezy, kleenex kid commercial colds. But, what those kids with red noses fail to mention about their ailments as they wipe their youthful noses with lotion filled pillowy tissue blankets, is that the tissue boxes are next to impossible to open. The last thing my shivery, wheezy, sick self wants to do is grapple with a christmas themed tissue box for the better half of ten minutes while my face is rapidly transforming into a real life game of "Gooey Louie."

Also, being an adult is sad because no one makes you soup. In fact, the chances that you even have soup are unlikely. Where O' where is my mother on a day like today? Why is my tummy not full of milkshakes and lemony honey goodness? Instead I am trying to make one tea bag go as far as possible.

But there is something beautiful about being sick. Its a reminder that we are all fundamentally the same as human beings. While we are all a normally functional species, capable of mundane tasks, but the moment we fall ill we completely collapse. We revert to a primal state where we can do nothing for ourselves besides wallow in shallow, cesspools of self pity and groans. Each violent sneeze brings tears to our eyes while we savor the few precious hours before our imminent demise. 

So thats where I am presently. Holding onto my last few hours of this life. Now that I finished 'Firefly' I can die happy. Though, I am feeling less than 'Shiny.'